The Contessa is a character in the Sly Cooper franchise.  She serves as a member of the KLAWW Gang, an officer of Interpol, and the third boss, in Sly 2:  Band of Thieves, (2004), and is briefly referenced in Sly 3:  Honor Among Thieves, via a painting which resembles her prison in Prague.  

Why She Rocks

  • Incredible voice acting by Gloria Manon; her voice sounded sexy, while also intimidating at the same time.  
  • Aweosme character design, (despite the fact that she's a disgusting, scary Spider).  
  • Even though her boss fights are way too easy, she has some unique abilities.  In the first fight, she can summon smaller spiders, swipe with her hand claws, and use webs to keep herself, and Sly, on the rooftop; in the second fight she has all of that, but can also briefly hypnotize Sly using Clockwerk's eyes.  
  • She's one of the most interesting members of the KLAWW Gang, and of all of the villains in Sly Cooper history, because she was technically a member of the KLAWW Gang, but masqueraded as an agent of Interpol, where she hypnotized criminals and forced them to reveal where they've hidden their fortunes.  
  • She has interesting and hilarious double sided symbolism in the fact that her animal choice is a Black Widow Spider.  The first is that Black Widow spiders are known for eating their mates after giving birth.  The second is that a woman who kills her husband to obtain his wealth is known as a Black Widow.  

Bad Qualities

  • SHE'S A SPIDER!  
  • Both of her boss fights are two of the easiest and less challenging in the entire series.  

Quotes

  • Now, just lay back and relax. Go to your happy place... and stay there... forever.  
  • The KLAWW Gang is falling apart.  Spice shipments have all but stopped.  Ah!  I never would have joined if I knew it would be this easy to disrupt the plan.  At least hte Cooper Gang is under lock and key.  Their narrowminded morality flies in the face of man's inherent selfishness.  Ah well.  They'll see it my way soon enough.  
  • Those fools at Interpol. They keep sending me criminals and I keep making money. How come no one ever thought of this before? Hypnotize criminals and force them to reveal where they've hidden their fortune... I'm a genius! If only I had more spice to help me with the hypnosis!  
  • That blasted Cooper Gang. The fat one... what's his name? Murray, yes, Murray, he'll be the first to break. I should spend a few sessions probing that feeble mind, I can only imagine the wealth that gang has accumulated over the years.  
  • That Sly Cooper... such a complex and rebellious mind. A month or two in "the hole" should break his spirit. Let him squat there... week after week... he's seen that the guards along the wall all have motion detectors... there is no escape. Slowly the reality of his captivity will set in... and I'll get to work on his mind.  
  • Who goes there?! Where... where are my guards?  
  • Huh? They're gone again!  
  • What? Where are those lazy bodyguards?! They're all fired!  
  • What's with all the racket?! My conscious mind is a wreck. I ...ought to... The weak-minded Hippo is free, and he's got friends! Hmm! Perhaps it's time to reevaluate some life choices.  
  • Such displaced hostility. If you insist on getting angry why not be psychologically productive and channel it at your so called friends?  
  • Sorry, but our time is up.  
  • Of course you are.  I've read your psychological profile.  I know that you're honest.  
  • Because dear... you're honest. You see, by chasing after Sly Cooper you learned too much about the Klaww Gang and its spice operation. It was only a matter of time before you figured out that I was a secret member... so when Neyla gave me a chance to put you in custody I took it.  
  • Oh, I'm afraid your life, let alone your "life's work" isn't going to last much longer. Once I integrate the Clockwerk eyes into this device your "life's work" will be whatever I tell you.  
  • Quite right, it won't be easy... or painless. But I will reprogram your mind and you will take the fall for me at Interpol. Now, just lay back and relax, go to your happy place and stay there forever.  
  • How many times must you say that... it's not going to happen.  
  • I'll get you, I'll get you.  
  • Yes yes, so I've heard.  
  • Hmm, maybe I should approach this through your id instead of your conscious mind. It might help to get around your super ego...  
  • nspector Fox, why fight it... don't you want to be my friend?  
  • Don't worry my dear, I still have time to finish with your "readjustment".  
  • Ah-ha! I've isolated the brain pattern... you and I are about to become the best of friends.  
  • My dear you really... (gasps) Shadow Guard! Shadow Guard!  
  • That eye belongs to me...and I want it back.  
  • Not crazy, just stupid. You're an ignorant child playing dress-up in his father's legacy. Oh, I know all about you and the Cooper Clan.  
  • Short-sighted fool. I've no interest in your narrow interpretation of morality. I'm above all that, above good and evil.  
  • Enough talk, insect!  It will be just as easy, and more fun, to pry it from your cold, dead hand!  
  • Oh, I'm sorry...was that an immoral act?  
  • Enough... you've shown me the error of my ways.  
  • I know enough not to let my guard down around an intellectually superior opponent.  
  • Quite right, Cooper.  In a battle of strength, you've proven yourself.  But with this Clockwerk Eye, I can battle in your mind!  
  • You have a strong mind, Cooper.  I never would have guessed.  

Trivia

  • Contessa means countess in Italian.
  • The Contessa's estate, along with Jean Bison's logging camp and Mz. Ruby's swamp, is one of the paintings in Octavio's coffee houses in Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves.
  • The Contessa shares some similarities with Mz. Ruby: they are both cold-blooded animals, their levels have obviously mystic vibes to them, and they are both some of the few females in their gangs.
  • The Contessa is the only arthropodic boss in the series.
    • Although the Contessa is a [black] widow spider, she only has six legs instead of eight. Her arms might count as her legs as well.
    • Contessa is also one of four invertebrate villains in the series. The others are the Moat Monster, the Mask of Dark Earth, and the Crusher.
  • Across the bridge at the Contessa's rehabilitation center, a projector projects an hourglass, the symbol of a black widow.
  • The Contessa was originally planned to make a cameo in a cutscene for Thieves in Time. At the end of the game where Bentley tells the players where all the character are now, Carmelita was shown beating up and arresting a criminal. The artist for the game said that he originally planned The Contessa to be the one Carmelita was arresting but that did not work out for various reasons. One of the artist on Deviant Art confirmed this on the artwork for the particular scene.
  • It is highly likely that the Contessa poisoned her husband in order to obtain his fortune:
    • It fits in with the Contessa's animal theme, as the female widow spider is known for eating her mate after laying eggs.
    • If players look closely at the wine glasses during her level intro, they will notice olive green fizz bubbling out of her husband's glass seconds after the toast during their wedding.
  • There are some paintings/photos of her husband in her castle in A Tangled Web, suggesting she misses him or at least feels that her "success" is partly credited to him.
  • She is mentioned by Bentley in Thieves in Time during the job "Copy Cats".
  • She is the only Klaww Gang member whose voice was never heard on a loudspeaker.
  • Contessa is the only known boss that can give Sly a particular feat, not allowing him to fall from heights. Everytime Sly falls down from heights during boss fights with her, Contessa will always use the web to capture Sly and pull him back up to resume the fight.
  • She is one of five characters in the series to either be a hypnotist, have the ability to gain mind control over others, or both; the others are the GuruClockwerkMiss Decibel, and the Mask of Dark Earth.
  • The Contessa is one of few criminal villains not to be arrested by Carmelita Fox. The others are Jean Bison, Arpeggio, and LeFwee.
    • She is also the only one to be arrested at all. In the Contessa's case, she was arrested by the authorities. Jean Bison escaped the circumstances that would have gotten him arrested before working for the EPA, and Arpeggio and LeFwee both died.
  • She is the first character to bear a resemblance to a human at any extent. The second (and only other) one is the Black Baron.
  • Contessa is one of six characters in the series to drink alcohol. The others are her husband, Dimitri, Raleigh, Carmelita and Sly.

All Appearances

  • Sly 2:  Band of Thieves (2004)
  • Sly 3:  Honor Among Thieves (2005) (referenced)
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