- Pacha, for the last time I...! Hey, wait, you're not Pacha. Ugh, how many times do I have to tell Yzma not to let peasants in without permission first? Oh well, I guess I should introduce myself.
My name is Kuzco. Emperor Kuzco. I'm the main protagonist of Disney's 40th animated feature film, The Emperor's New Groove. However, despite being the main superstar and breakout character, I use to be quite a selfish jerk... and a llama. I still show sides of it occasionally, but that's a completely different story. Anywho, here are some reasons why I'm one of the greatest characters ever made!
Why I Rock! (Boom, baby!)
- I have a habit of 4th wall awareness, just like that pink unicorn pony over there, in the corner. Yeah, I see you! (and yes, I'm aware I'm in one of the best animated films ever put on screens.)
- I was a selfish power-hungry emperor who didn't care who I hurt. Fast-forward a few years later, you'll see that I became popular for those exact reasons.
- Despite being self-centered, I'm still pretty friendly. Unlike those other villains, who pretend to be nice so they can capture the heroes, I'm usually pretty friendly on a good day (don't get me wrong, I still have limits).
- Come on, even if I was a selfish jerk, Yzma deserved to get fired, since she constantly tried to rule the empire behind my back. She's supposed to advise me, not do my job for me!
- My selfishness is partially justified, since I was raised by that crazy, old coot Yzma and she's just as selfish as I am, she may or may not have been the Emperor before me.
- Some weirdos on the internet consider me "the greatest Disney princess", which is fine and all, especially of my royal stature, but, if you haven't noticed: I'm a male Emperor! Not a girl pretty pretty princess!
Bad Qualities (Hey, nobody's perfect!)
- I'm not exactly the brightest character in the franchise. For example, I agreed to have dinner with Yzma and her right-hand man Kronk… right after I fired them on the dot and insulted them! I nearly got poisoned because of this, in fact the only reason, I'm still alive is because Kronk messed up the potions and I got turned into a llama (not that that's any better.)
- Apparently, some pop culture website that goes by the name of TV Tropes, decided to label me as "The God of Llamas" after the trope "Everything's Better With Llamas". Ugh, you get turned into a llama one time, and nobody allows you to forget it!